.​.​.​as the air is still (Hester Road Demos)

by nyanda j.

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It was written and rewritten over a period of three years, then pieced together slowly and meticulously, just because I take fucking forever to do anything haha. Fearing that I've grown far too attached to these songs and the two characters within them I thought it was about time to let them go.

The tracks for 'Beyond control', '"..it's been and gone"', 'Their early morning stirrings' and 'She's looking out, he's looking on' were all recorded in one take to capture a particular mood at the time. They're rough as guts and I like 'em for that.

Made with a tanglewood, an egg shaker, two ratty organs, a little friend in Logic and well love, I guess.


released April 12, 2015

Cheers to Mitty Mitch Hall, the old Painted Bird, Rawnie, Miss Jones and of course my Mum and Dad for putting up with me during this time haaaa.



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nyanda j. Perth, Australia

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Track Name: The land he calls his own..
From time to time I'll come
but mostly I just leave you be

Allow my thoughts to idly drift
(to my fields)
the sweet simplicity you bare

When I was a child you were mine
but my eyes haven't fallen upon you for quite some time

Selfishly I breathe
(to seek)
that soft scent from years before

When I was a child you were mine
but my eyes haven't fallen upon you for quite some time

Home, you are home.
Track Name: Living On Trains
He spent his life waiting
at every face
the young man would stare,
'How do they remain ever so still?'

She spent her nights living on trains
a hidden tearing,
a wailing inside,
'How do they remain? Do they feel as I feel?'

She had caught his eye
but in this silence
how unusual to cut the air
for a friendly word
seemed a dangerous confession

He took his chance
"I saw you from a distance.. I'm s-sorry I've seen you many times before, but today I thought 'why not?', because you never know."

They began to talk
errands were left forgotten
their stops flew by
with their trivial demands

He said "I'll just stay here with you, until the end of the line."

Today your heart will wake
it's been sleeping,
all this time

Today you'll take
to the bridge
lay in pieces by
the tracks

We spend our time just living on trains
another stranger
by our side
how do we remain ever so still?
Track Name: Beyond control
No more whirlwind of thought;
pleasure found,
lost within,
helplessly a child,
just trembling I
give in to him

Love was a lowly way to numb
to carry on
but never face,
just senselessly
lean upon
now unyielding I
begin to float

Beyond control
far gone
Track Name: Wait. Lay. Lie.
Another dream it just pours from my mouth
a dread hangs thick in the air,
for you know that shadow's gonna come
to take, oh how it takes

The veil of night brings visions to my mind
where teeth crumble and fall
I awake to the sounds of her quietly weeping
and turn to return to my dream

I will lay, lie,
wait for another love to die
Why pray,
when I can feel her light slip away?

That shadow has come and it sits on her shoulders
and whispers as it drags us down
And I know there's nothing I can do
but wait and wait and wait..

There can't be death without life
No shadow without light
There's a silver line
still trying to find that silver line..

All you can do is wait and lie (it's coming 'round)
All you can do is wait and lie (it's come to take)
Track Name: Seek Out See Into
Behold the awe in our surrounds;
breathe it in, let it enfold
the pulse, the colour, the light
'What did I hide from?'
'Why deny life at all?'

His presence fills it leaves me trembling
senses reach strange heights
no reason beneath
I lose everything
colour gone
I see into

My friend, I'm restless now
unsure of every step that leads me to
a certain end we all will face
the fear
that I feel of the unknown

My love, take me in
pull me from my thoughts
so I may be and carry on
before it takes my place
before I'm gone
before I'm left
to see into
Track Name: "..it's been and gone."
In her eyes
so much rage
cannot reach into
to tear it out

She starts pourin'
those past stories
another drink
to wash it down

"I know it's sad.. look it's been and gone. And we just make room for more, and we move on."

In her eyes
so much rage
and I hold no power
power to change
Track Name: ...as the air is still
Watch her now as the air is still
shadows form at the edge of her eyes
she walks the streets 'til the break of dawn,
he turns his back and lies alone

By each night more and more
to numb her mind, to silence the lies
he waits in the dark with those waking thoughts
she poisons her blood so she may lay still

(Let the black veil cover me)
(Let the city swallow me whole)
(Let my love wait for the dawn)

She turns the door, first light breaks
crawling flesh, her veins run dry
he bites his tongue, her cry fills the air
he turns back pretends to sleep

His mind is slipping to a silent, scared land
he calls his own
he calls his own
Away from the city streets all the eyes, the words, the light
they'd lay still
they could lay still
Head buried in his hands, "What kind of man am I?"
he screams to the ground
screams to the sky

My love, my world, my life
she's slowly fading now
and here I hide
I shy away

(Let the black veil cover me)
(Let the city swallow me whole)
(Let my love wait for the dawn)

Oh I stumble through our home to lay my broken body down
I hear your waking breath behind the door..

'God, you know my mind is torn. I'm breaking yet you hide away.'

..but I just bite my tongue

and lay as still as the air of the dawn.
Track Name: Their early morning stirrings
Wild tangle of auburn hair
light-headed, overcome;
those sweet seconds before
it comes running back
all things said and done

While he waits for her to wake
piece by piece he tries to see
how their life was to unfold,
but it comes running back
that one, aching thought

Think I see
we could try

Take me away
Take us away

I could change
if only

Take me away (you can't wait for it to get better)
Take us away (you can't wait for her to get better)
Take me away (you can't wait for us to get better)
Track Name: Perish. Decay. Change.
'Yes, I swear it's travelling in the water, something there I cannot describe.'
With every step she could feel her fear bounding
something there calling her on

With open eyes level to the surface, 'Dare I let go of all control?'
She was gone, lost awhile under
emerging slow, she had been reborn

A strange grip has taken hold
it lifts me up
throws me down
my human words cannot explain
the more I try it just slips away

A strange grip I'm giving in,
Am I free?
God it feels so close
this love is all I have
the only thing giving reason for life

All you have ever known let it fall away and you'll
Perish. Decay. Change.

All you're holding onto let it fall away and you'll
Perish. Decay. Change.

All you have ever known let it fall away for the new

So slowly
(it's lifting)
So slowly
(it's fading away)
Feel it leave
(release me)
So slowly

Go on and look out
go on and go
feel it all
above the longing
above the being
for now..

All you have ever known let it fall away for the new

All you were holding onto let it fall away and you'll
Perish. Decay. Change.
Track Name: Into Waking Light
It's sending yourself astray
each promise made to no avail
confessions thrown at his feet
only to recoil and fade

This hollowed home you will abide
(see into me)
above behind flames ablaze
(I dare not speak)
scenes acast upon the walls
(begin to believe)
a shadow play before your eyes

You dream, you yearn to break
(this being born of thought)
A desperate longing you fear
(see into me)
So turn within, deny

Why walk
into waking light?

(Calling out)
Track Name: She's looking out, he's looking on
Arms thinning out, skin is paling grey
her window looking out to fields of pale gold
a single tear slides to land on trembling hands

With barely strength to sleep she finds a way to rise
(it's wearing her wearing her out)
idle at an open door he's looking on
(wearing her, wearing her)
as she's walking out into the sun to read awhile

Tries in vain the words are fading in and out
swear she's read this sentence several times before
tears begin to slide and land on a trembling page
Track Name: Her early morning stirrings
Wake, cling to the edge of the bed
there's tip toes upon the boards
you shake at the sound of your name

You hear them the same each day
'You're so stuck in your ways..
..all the while the world pulses madly on.'

And it's a beautiful town, you're living the good life now
yet so restless and ill at ease
demanding more and more

As ambition dries with this urge to run
hear them come and go saying,
'Who do you have? What are you worth?'

Settle down
Breathe it in
Let it go

(They will go on without you)

See into me, I'm reaching out
Still the decision remains,
is it right for me to stay?

"No, I'm gone, I'm done, I'm dying in this town."
But it's never the place,
it's always me

(They will go on without you)

No, I'm done, I'm giving into it. Yeah, you can call me weak but I'm just so tired. See me now running from this. For me, for mine, forget this place.
Nothing holding me. No one beckoning me to stay.
Track Name: 4 Far Lane
It was kept as he remembered. He locked it up just as it was, not one book out of place like nothing had changed. And he stood back for a while idle at an open door to her old room, within their home on 4 Far Lane..

Over scattered pieces of paper
over scratchings of a vivid dream
he let his hands fall to where he thought her's might have been

She was a slow, graceful creature
the distant, quiet type
always forgetful, a little sad and a bit tired

(Never get through)

And he did most things around the house
and left her alone to write
never minding that she rarely had the strength to do anything else

Thinking a home of their own a life anew
could inspire and keep her sound
he naively tried to tie this unearthly thing

He tried to figure out
What else was he to do?

(He'd never get through)

It was always there in the back of his mind that one aching thought; a truth that kept him prepared to alone. But he just wished she would have left maybe a letter or something more than just a vision of her pale, skinny legs swinging to and fro.

Try to figure it out
What else was he to do?
Try to figure it out

Now we look back in wonder and long for
their old world
their home
on 4 Far Lane

Look back in wonder and long for
the time lost
their world
that distant girl

Look back in wonder and long for..